


& handsome as hell

by queerofcups



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Multi, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 05:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/pseuds/queerofcups
Summary: Besides, Anthony’s straight. Super straight. So straight he made a video about it.Which is why he laughs, shakes his head and says, “Maybe next year, man.”--or, a quote from me a few hours ago: i mostly don’t get the hands thing but DAN’S HANDS on Anthony’s TINY LITTLE BODY write this on my tombstone good LORD





	& handsome as hell

**Author's Note:**

> this is fake, but also not really my fault, that hug at the end awakened something inside me

It starts in 2016 with Dan saying, “Wait you’re saying you’ve never? Never? Not even…”

He’s rolling his eyes before Dan’s gaze even finishes finding Ian in the post-vidcon house party.

“No, Dan. I know “best friend” means something different in your household, but we’ve never done anything together.”

Dan waves a hand in unsteady dismissal and takes a drink from whatever he’s mixed together in his red cup. Anthony’s pretty sure these parties are modeled after all the college parties none of them got to have because they were too busy making videos in their rooms--complete with red solo cups, loud music and people making propositions they shouldn’t in dark corners.

With that in mind, it's only halfway surprising when Dan gives him a once-over and says, “I-- we could help you with that.”

And the thing is, last week was the first time Anthony said out loud, staring at himself in his bathroom mirror, that maybe, maybe Smosh wasn’t making him happy anymore. He can only handle one crisis at a time, and Dan Howell offering to fingerfuck him in the middle of a youtuber house party (possibly in conjunction with Phil, Anthony’s unclear on that part) seems like the recipe for a really, really big sexuality crisis.

Besides, Anthony’s straight. Super straight. So straight he made a video about it.

Which is why he laughs, shakes his head and says, “Maybe next year, man.”

Which, somehow, is how he’s here, a year later, his hips propped up on a pillow, his naked thighs thrown over Dan’s crossed legs, breathing through the burn and sting of Dan sinking an index finger into his ass. Honestly, he’s a little fuzzy on the details on how they got here. But he knows that they’d finished filming what was probably going to be a damn good video, finishing with a couple different takes of a hug and Dan had pressed his hands across the length of Anthony’s back and Anthony had remembered the offer with a start. And with one crises resolved, why not stare down the beginning of another?

“This is supposed to be good?” Anthony asks, taking deep breaths in and out, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. It's not great. It mostly feels like a shit gone very wrong. The rest of it is ok. He doesn’t hate the feeling of Dan’s jeans rubbing against his legs, the feeling of Dan’s bare sides on his calves, or the way he has to stretch his thighs to open up for Dan and press the bony jut of Dan’s knees into the soft underside of his ass. 

It’s just that...Dan’s very large. Anthony knows Dan’s big, they’ve just made a whole video about it, and before that he’s caught himself more than once just sort of...staring at Dan’s hands. 

It had been the hug, the feel of Dan’s hands spread across his back, and in one take, lower, cupping the underside of his ribs, that’d made him go, “Hey. That offer from last year still open?”

And now a well-lubed part of Dan’s very large hands is working into Anthony’s normal sized ass and it kind of hurts. But is also kind of good? There’s something edging out the hurt, just a little, that he wants to push into, except every time he does, Dan’s other hand rests on his hip and stops him. 

“It’ll get good,” Dan says, sounding distracted. 

Anthony looks down to find him texting, right thumb flying across his phone’s screen. “Hey!”

“Sorry,” Dan says, not sounding very sorry. “Phil wanted to know how much longer we’d be.”

“Phil!” Anthony shouts, then gasps because Dan’s moving his finger and the burn and sting is definitely starting to fade into something...different. 

“Yeah,” Dan says, moving his finger more. “He wanted to know if he should bring lunch here. I told him I was taking your virginity, so it’d probably be hard to answer the door.”

Dan, Anthony realizes, has been (mostly? He hasn’t been exactly forthcoming about the details of his non-Phil-based sexual activity) having sex with the same person for the last ten years, so it's probably not weird to be having a normal conversation while knuckle deep in someone’s ass. 

It’s weird for Anthony, who knows being part of a duo but not like that, and he finds that he wants a piece of that familiarity. It makes him say, “Tell him there’s a key tapped underneath the chair out on the patio.”

Dan raises an eyebrow but grabs his phone, awkwardly texting with his right hand, fucking a finger in and out of Anthony’s asshole with his left. Anthony sighs and inhales deeply again and tries to chase the blunt pressure that’s chased away most of the pain and is threatening to turn into something good. 

 

By the time he hears someone letting themself into the front door, he’s half hard, and Dan’s working a second finger into him. He can hear himself making soft, gasping noises every time Dan pushes his fingers back in and he’s starting to feel exposed, spread open. The feeling intensifies and zings through him when he turns toward the rustling happening to his left and sees Phil in his doorway. Amazing fucking Phil is standing in his doorway, watching Anthony get fingered by his boyfriend, smiling as pleasantly as he had during the meet and greets earlier. 

“You guys are fucking weird,” Anthony says, breaking his sentence off to close his eyes and moan because Dan’s brushed over a spot that feels good but also way too intense.

“I just got here!” Phil says, suddenly closer. Anthony opens his eyes in time to see him drop a kiss on Dan’s mouth, and to see Dan tilt his head back, wordlessly asking for another. The second kiss is longer, and Anthony catches a flash of Dan’s tongue, the white of Phil’s teeth. Dan’s fingers, the ones buried in him, twitch a little and Anthony, who’s still straight, thanks, wonders if this counts as a threesome. 

Is he having a threesome with Dan and Phil right now? If two people are making out, pretty wetly now, while one of them has his fingers in your ass, but the other isn’t touching you...does it count?

Anthony wonders if Phil has plans to touch him, too. Just to make it a proper threesome. No point in doing things halfway, is there? He’s going to have to drink to the had sex with a dude question at the next Vidcon never-have-i-ever, and no one’s going to be impressed by a technical threesome.

“Dan loves this,” Phil tells him, after he’s pulled away from Dan and sat on the bed a weirdly appropriate distance away from Anthony. “Fingering. Giving or taking. It’s his favorite. First thing we did when we got together.”

And Anthony didn’t know he wanted the image of Dan leaned up against his chest, groaning and taking two, maybe even three, of Phil’s fingers. But now he’s fully hard and really wishes he’d asked Dan to take his pants off, just to see if he’s enjoying this as much as Anthony’s starting too. 

“I know, right?” Phil asks, as if he’s read Anthony’s mind. “Can I touch you?”

He nods and now it’s definitely a threesome, because Phil’s scooting closer and spreading a hand down Anthony’s chest, and stomach, toward his cock and they’re both just so big. The span of Phil’s hand touches an absurd amount of Anthony’s skin. When he finally wraps a hand around Anthony’s cock, he feels covered. Phil’s fingers are slimmer, but they grip him firmly, a touch too dry, but he’s slick with pre-cum--more than he’s used to, and he’s not sure if he wants to push up into Phil’s grip, or back onto Dan’s fingers. 

He opts to just let things happen and holds as still as possible, gasping and feeling and letting them touch him. 

“If you get used to it,” Dan says, voice sliding easy across Anthony’s attention, “If you decide you like it, you can come visit us, sometime. We could get you up on your hands and knees, see how you like that. Maybe suck one of us, while the other fingers you? Phil feels totally different, he’s fingers are all knobby, it's a ride.”

Phil snorts beside Dan, but Anthony’s hips are moving, unbidden and driven by the thought of being laid across the circular bed he’s only seen in a few blurry snaps over the last year, letting Phil carve out a new place in him while he gets his mouth on Dan. Or the other way around. He wouldn’t mind the almost-familiar-now feeling of Dan’s fingers, pumping in and out of him, while Phil tipped his head back and gripped at Anthony’s hair, guiding his mouth up and down Phil’s cock. Maybe, if he stayed long enough, they’d let him watch them fuck. Maybe he could convince one of them to fuck him.

He drives his hips down, the blunt, wide feeling of Dan’s fingers turned filling and good, and something he wants more of immediately, swept away by the feeling of Phil’s tight, pumping grip on his cock. They’re driving him slightly crazy and he wants to come now. 

“Sometimes,” Dan tells him, and Anthony wishes he’d shut the fuck up and just fuck him, God. “Not often, but sometimes he presses in, right where I need him, and I come from just his fingers.”

Phil makes a noise, like he’s turned on just from the memory of seeing Dan like that, and when Anthony looks over at him, his eyes are trained on Anthony’s face, and he’s got his bottom lip between his teeth and it's too much. The look is too much and the sound is too much, it's too much to add to the feeling of their hands on his skin, the wet sound of Dan’s fingers moving in and out of his ass, the slick noise of Phil’s hand on his cock. 

Anthony comes with an inhale and a short, incredulous shout. Dan gives with a little squeal, something about getting come on his jeans, and Phil laughs while Anthony grunts through his orgasm, jerking and squeezing around Dan’s fingers, pushing back to find the last little bits of that dirty, stuffed and stretched feeling. 

“Holy fuck,” he breathes, and then hisses as Dan slips his fingers out. 

“I told you it’d get good,” Dan says smugly, then slips out from under Anthony, climbs off the bed and wanders off in the direction of the bathroom to wash his hands. 

“Bring the food!” Phil calls out after him. Anthony rolls his head over to look up at Phil, who’s wiped his hand off...somewhere, and is tapping something on his phone. It’s a little gross, but Anthony’s a little boneless right now and finds it hard to care. 

“I don’t think you look that much alike,” Phil tells him, glancing from his phone to Anthony and back. “Not anymore. Maybe back when you both had the hair.”

“How long do you think it would take to get good at blowjobs?” Anthony asks. “Fuck, I have to have a sexuality crisis now. Can I make a video about that?”

“Dan does all the time,” Phil tells him. “He just never publishes them. And not that long if you put your mind to it.”

Anthony nods and drags himself up to sit, only to immediately flop back down. 

“Yeah,” Phil says, nodding. “I’d give that a few minutes. Can we film our video laying down?”

It doesn’t really make sense to blush about anything after a man and his boyfriend have just fingered and jerked you off into a minor reassessment of your entire life. But the suggestion of doing a video cuddled up to Phil is surprisingly intriguing. 

“Maybe,” Anthony says, listening for Dan to come back from the kitchen. He hopes Phil brought food for him, too.

**Author's Note:**

> come join me in my suffering over at queerofcups.tumblr.com


End file.
